Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sometimes I Shave My Head Because I Choose To.

I used tell people: "Ya but I'm warning you, I'm crazy". It was a disclaimer so that when I'd wear out of the ordinary stuff or do un-normal things I could be like: "See, I told you I was crazy". I had this weird thing about being weird and being judged about my weirdness. So I thought if I warn people in advance, then they could expect me to do or wear strange wacky things and not have a heart attack about it.

I knew I loved being weird but often times I would let this get in the way. I would want to do something, but I would be worried about how people would perceive me. I mean, let's get real, we live in a judgmental world. We all make judgments whether we realize it or not. It is human nature and our neurological circuits are designed that way. Judgments are a shortcut for your brain to recognize information that it has already encountered. If I see a guy that looked like he just walked off the show Jersey Shore, I might automatically presume that he is self-centered and conceited. Essentially my brain is taking a short cut, called a heuristic. It has seen something similar before (Jersey Shore) and associates it with any attributes that are attached to it (self-centered and conceited). 

In psychology, heuristics are simple, efficient rules, hard-coded by evolutionary processes or learned, which have been proposed to explain how people make decisions, come to judgments, and solve problems, typically when facing complex problems or incomplete information. These rules work well under most circumstances, but in certain cases lead to systematic errors or cognitive biases. Essentially, he could have been the nicest guy in the world but I let my heuristic type him as a jerk.

So I chose to take a leap. I chose not to listen to my worries of what people thought of me. I chose to be who I am no matter what. I chose to embrace my weirdness because it is how I express myself in life. And so I shaved my head.

If I let fear stop myself then I am depriving me of me and I am depriving the world of me. Imagine if everyone in the world was fully expressed and fulfilled in their lives. Do you think we'd have world peace? I certainly think that the world would have much more creativity, passion and innovation if everyone fulfilled on their dreams. I now realize that I do not need to put up any warning labels about who I am. I can just be who I wanna be without caring what other people think. I can be fully self-expressed because it makes me happy. In fact, people appreciate me more for it.   

Sometimes I shave my head because I choose to. And there's nothing more to it.

If there is something that you have always wanted to do, but felt stopped for whatever reason, please share. Then just do it.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Charisma. A Charming Attribute.

Charisma is the ability to positively influence others by connecting with them physically, emotionally and intellectually.

This gives anyone the power and gift of charisma.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

From Professional to Personal

As I am always looking to expand professionally, I often visit a sales coaching site to get my daily dose of insight. I often find that they tell a tale that not only applies to the professional world, but also my personal world. If I truly want to encompass a skill, I apply it to every area of my life. Not just work. I've also noticed that the principles really can be so simple yet so effective. Here is an example below...

How to Build a Lasting Relationship

Effective Communication is the Key

Remember that permanent relationships are built on trust, respect, understanding, kindness, thoughtfulness, acceptance, appreciation, consistency, and unselfishness. Saying "please" and "thank you" for favors or a job well done are friend-makers and relationship-builders. Since we treat people like we see them, we should seriously look for the best in others, because this is a great relationship-builder and brings out the best in ourselves.

Happy, long-term relationships involve frequent compromise which is the only constructive alternative to fighting. Compromise is not denying right and wrong; it's admitting that both sides can have some right and both sides can have some wrong. If harmony is our end, then compromise is our means.

Winning relationships are built by leaving many things unsaid. Combine this with the ability to express displeasure or disappointment in an incident without any thought of taking punitive action, and you'll avoid many relationship crises. All long-lasting relationships are built on the understanding that both parties must get something out of the relationship.

When the other person does things that irritate you, nip problems in the bud by suggesting that the two of you sit down and talk about them. Open the conversation with, "It bothers me when ... Not that you did it wrong, but it bothers me." The other person is not a mind-reader. Don't expect him or her to know what's on your mind and cater to what you consider to be an obvious need or desire. Communicate with them.

When you offend someone, you should quickly apologize and ask for forgiveness. Otherwise, the problem festers, and the relationship suffers.