Thursday, December 10, 2009

What animal am I and why?

I've been doing a project for the last month or so where I interview the people in my life about myself. This includes friends, family, ex boyfriends, even acquaintances. The goal is to get how I occur to them in their world. I may think that I come across a certain way, and they may think something completely different. But you don't really know until you ask. It is not about anyone being wrong or right, but simply gaining perspective on the self.

Interview questions:
1) What are my strengths?
2) What are my weaknesses?
3) What can you always count on me for?
4) What can you never count on me for?
5) Is there something about me that you wanted to tell me but never have? What is it? Why did you not want to tell me?
6) What color am I? Why?
7) What animal am I? Why?

First of all, I don't recommend doing this unless you are really open to hearing the bad news. I am doing a program called Landmark Education and over the course of the year I have acquired many tools that help me not hate my best friend when they tell me I can be naive and absent-minded.

I loved hearing what animal people thought of me as.

-Person interviewed: sister 1
-Animal / why: Peacock because I'm a show off!
    *This was especially interesting to me. I may think that I am outgoing and entertaining (I am this way because when I make others laugh, it makes me happy), but to others I may come across as an attention seeker and a show-off.  This doesn't mean that they are right or wrong, its just getting their perspective of you. Chances are if my sister thinks this of me, there may very well be others that think the same.

-Person interviewed: sister 2
-Animal / why: Magical creature because I'm crazy (I agree- but good crazy)

-Person interviewed: ex-boyfriend 1
-Animal / why: Zebra because I am so black/white, hot/cold, up/down

-Person interviewed: ex-boyfriend 2
-Animal / why: Bear because I am cuddly, loving and caring

-Person interviewed: friend
-Animal / why: Tropical tree top monkey because I am outgoing, enthusiastic, I'm a great listener and I am always there to help my friends when they need me by providing them a different perspective (from the Amazon tree tops!)

-Person interviewed: Daddy dearest
-Animal / why: St. Bernard dog because I am loyal and gentle (awwwwwwwww)

Weaknesses. OMG. Now see, I prepped myself so mentally well for the weaknesses I was like: "Ok, I'm ready! I got my bulletproof vest on. Lay it on me!". The funny thing was that there would never be more than one weakness that they could list. And they weren't even that bad.

-Person interviewed: sister 1
-My weakness: non-observant because I can never find things even if it's right in front of me

-Person interviewed: sister 2
-My weakness: nothing because she can't think of any

-Person interviewed: dad
-My weakness: disorganized but only referring to my messy room

-Person interviewed: best friend
-My weakness: can't say no because I'm too nice

-Person interviewed: ex-boyfriend 2
-My weakness: lack of focus because I have too many goals & dreams in life!! (yay)
-My weakness: naive because I am too innocent and trusting

And then it really occurred to me. I am my own worst critic! And I know a lot of you (if not most) out there are just the same. I was like: "That's it????".  I labelled myself as: critical, too blunt, too direct, perfectionist (which can be bad), too outgoing, workaholic, over-achieving academic, poor listener... the list went on and I was waiting for others to confirm this list- but they didn't. In that moment I let go of my list. I gained freedom of judgement of myself. I gained a new self.

How do you think you occur to others in your life? I bet it's not what you think!

Friday, December 4, 2009


I was having a conversation with my friend. He asked me where do we draw the line between "like" and "love"; "dislike" and "hate". In what proportions do they occur. When does dislike turn into hate and when does like turn into love? I had to think about this one. I don't actually hate anyone or anything. Hate is such a strong word and I leave no room for it in my vocabulary. I don't even really dislike that many things.

I am currently doing my MBA and in relating this to my Managerial Economics course, when defining the probability of some occurrence, it is important to use a scale that is universal. We must use a scale that is comparable across different cultures, points of views, demographics and so on. So we use percentages from 0% to 100%. For example: I can say that I think it is 30% likely that occurrence X will happen. 

So where do you draw the line between dislike and hate? As in, if dislike and hate were on one continuum, what are the proportions? After really thinking about it, I would say for me dislike would make up 100% leaving 0% for hate. Like I said, there is no room for H-A-T-E in my vocabulary. 

As for like and love, at first I said like was equal to 20% and love was equal to 80%. In the sense that 80% of the time I am expressing true love for something or someone. Within the 80% bucket, I love my mom 100%. The 20% "liking" is reserved for things that I don't LOVE but I do like:

-I like tomatoes
-I like runners
-I like forks (I love spoons)
-I like banjos 
-I like soothers

But then he asked me to consider that all things come from a place of love. In the sense that there is no "like" but only "love". 100%. All things come from love, just at varying intensities. If someone holds open the door for you, this act of kindness stems from love. You may not know them, but their actions project love for another being at some level or another.

So in the end, there is only love. 

(I LOVE forks)x(0.20)

What is your LOOOOVVVVEEEE scale? 

Peace : Presence : Love

I feel that I have grown so much in the last few years. I thought that it might be nice to document my growth and change over time. This is sort of my way of plotting my life on an X and Y axis. The function and variables that define me have become clearer- yet I know that in life I will be continuously learning and thus steepening the slopes of the tangent lines to my curve of life. I know, I am a geek. But we all are.

I invite you to read my not-so-secret diary. Really I write this to provoke thought, inspire others, create relatedness. We are all linked by a common breathe. I invite you to see yourself in my writing and think about how it applies to you. Feel free to comment or share your own experiences and thoughts. Today I want to share with you a letter I wrote to a friend:

It has been some time since we have spoken. I am sorry I haven't been in touch with you. Today I felt sad. Then I remembered who I am and what I stand for. Who I am in this world is undying selfelessness. So there is no need for me to feel sad for myself as it only feeds my own ego. Now instead I feel inspired so I decided to write you as I knew you would get it.

My Opa passed last week. He died in my arms. I held his hand and watched his soul leave his body. I am so priviledged that he chose me. In Hindu religion, they believe that if a loved one dies in your presence, their soul will come back as your child. If this is the case, I will be so honored that his legacy will continue as I will have an enlightened child with an old soul. He was a very spiritual man and I am so lucky to have been able to receive so much contribution from him over my lifetime. He devoted his life to enriching others' lives, ridding ego, creating peace, spreading positive energy.

More than ever do I feel that I was born for a big purpose. I was meant to be so much bigger than what I see myself as. Not in the sense of ego, but through devotion and giving. I really do feel that I can make a difference in this world for humanity, for all living creatures.
Love always,