The Sauna

There's something mesmerizing about staring at a blank wall. 


White tiles. Dripping moisture. Wet heat. 


The sweat swallows my pores and I breathe in the moment. I drift away in the fog and catch a fleeting thought. Thankfully it fades in the mist.  


My mind is blank.  T_I_M_E_O_U_T 


  

Sometimes I Shave My Head Because I Choose To.

I used tell people: "Ya but I'm warning you, I'm crazy". It was a disclaimer so that when I'd wear out of the ordinary stuff or do un-normal things I could be like: "See, I told you I was crazy". I had this weird thing about being weird and being judged about my weirdness. So I thought if I warn people in advance, then they could expect me to do or wear strange wacky things and not have a heart attack about it.


I knew I loved being weird but often times I would let this get in the way. I would want to do something, but I would be worried about how people would perceive me. I mean, let's get real, we live in a judgmental world. We all make judgments whether we realize it or not. It is human nature and our neurological circuits are designed that way. Judgments are a shortcut for your brain to recognize information that it has already encountered. If I see a guy that looked like he just walked off the show Jersey Shore, I might automatically presume that he is self-centered and conceited. Essentially my brain is taking a short cut, called a heuristic. It has seen something similar before (Jersey Shore) and associates it with any attributes that are attached to it (self-centered and conceited). 

In psychology, heuristics are simple, efficient rules, hard-coded by evolutionary processes or learned, which have been proposed to explain how people make decisions, come to judgments, and solve problems, typically when facing complex problems or incomplete information. These rules work well under most circumstances, but in certain cases lead to systematic errors or cognitive biases. Essentially, he could have been the nicest guy in the world but I let my heuristic type him as a jerk.

So I chose to take a leap. I chose not to listen to my worries of what people thought of me. I chose to be who I am no matter what. I chose to embrace my weirdness because it is how I express myself in life. And so I shaved my head.

If I let fear stop myself then I am depriving me of me and I am depriving the world of me. Imagine if everyone in the world was fully expressed and fulfilled in their lives. Do you think we'd have world peace? I certainly think that the world would have much more creativity, passion and innovation if everyone fulfilled on their dreams. I now realize that I do not need to put up any warning labels about who I am. I can just be who I wanna be without caring what other people think. I can be fully self-expressed because it makes me happy. In fact, people appreciate me more for it.   

Sometimes I shave my head because I choose to. And there's nothing more to it.

If there is something that you have always wanted to do, but felt stopped for whatever reason, please share. Then just do it.

Charisma. A Charming Attribute.

Charisma is the ability to positively influence others by connecting with them physically, emotionally and intellectually.

This gives anyone the power and gift of charisma.

From Professional to Personal

As I am always looking to expand professionally, I often visit a sales coaching site to get my daily dose of insight. I often find that they tell a tale that not only applies to the professional world, but also my personal world. If I truly want to encompass a skill, I apply it to every area of my life. Not just work. I've also noticed that the principles really can be so simple yet so effective. Here is an example below...



How to Build a Lasting Relationship

Effective Communication is the Key

Remember that permanent relationships are built on trust, respect, understanding, kindness, thoughtfulness, acceptance, appreciation, consistency, and unselfishness. Saying "please" and "thank you" for favors or a job well done are friend-makers and relationship-builders. Since we treat people like we see them, we should seriously look for the best in others, because this is a great relationship-builder and brings out the best in ourselves.

Happy, long-term relationships involve frequent compromise which is the only constructive alternative to fighting. Compromise is not denying right and wrong; it's admitting that both sides can have some right and both sides can have some wrong. If harmony is our end, then compromise is our means.

Winning relationships are built by leaving many things unsaid. Combine this with the ability to express displeasure or disappointment in an incident without any thought of taking punitive action, and you'll avoid many relationship crises. All long-lasting relationships are built on the understanding that both parties must get something out of the relationship.

When the other person does things that irritate you, nip problems in the bud by suggesting that the two of you sit down and talk about them. Open the conversation with, "It bothers me when ... Not that you did it wrong, but it bothers me." The other person is not a mind-reader. Don't expect him or her to know what's on your mind and cater to what you consider to be an obvious need or desire. Communicate with them.

When you offend someone, you should quickly apologize and ask for forgiveness. Otherwise, the problem festers, and the relationship suffers. 

F___ Cancer!

51% of people die from cancer. Half. One in two people. That's your mom or your dad. That's your sister or your brother. That's me or you. 60% of cancer is PREVENTABLE. "The Answer to Cancer" has made some cancers REVERSIBLE.
It's time to fight back! F____ cancer! 


Support my friends that are standing for the cause!
Ride to Conquer Cancer:
http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/brentakhurst
F____ Cancer:
www.letsfcancer.com
The Answer to Cancer Conference:
www.acancerfreesociety.com 

Long Live McQueen

Suicide: A selfish tragedy. With the shocking death of the Great Alexander McQueen, the world suffers a monumental loss. He was a creature of his own species. A one-of-a-kind. The last unicorn. 


Population: one has now dwindled to population: none. 


It really is a shame that one can feel there is no other option but the end. Ending your own life is selfish because it is the ones that are left behind that suffer. You always have a choice and there is always a way out. 


Long live McQueen!

.::Part 1::. Hand Me Up!

Fashion. 
I love my shoes. 
I love my clothes. 
I love my stuff. 
Fashion.


At what point does it become too much? It seems like the western world has become consumed with an excess amount of "stuff". At this day in age, we are so spoiled and we don't even realize it. I know I'm spoiled. Fashion is something that I love. Some could even say I'm obsessed. When I'm studying, I often catch myself day dreaming about that dress I saw online the other day. Let's get real here. I could spend a full 8 hrs browsing through different online clothing stores. I mean, if I got paid to do that, I'd be rich!!! (and then i could buy more clothes... haa haa). Sometimes I go shopping and I buy things for no reason. They get worn once or sit in my closet and never see the light of day. 


Through my many humbling experiences in travel, I have learned that those with the least amount of stuff are truly the most generous. Generous in every way. Generous with their hospitality, generous with their giving, generous with their time, generous with their kindness. It seems like they don't have all this stuff that clouds our vision and clutters our life. They have so little yet they have so much to offer. 


When I was in Portugal a few years back, I met a man. He was old. He had wrinkles. He was poor. But he had the warmest smile. He lived in a small fishing town off the Algarve coast. As his fellow neighbors and visitors stepped off the train, he would be there to greet them and welcome them to his town as he circled around on his battered bicycle. It seemed like that was all he did all day. He welcomed me and my friend. At the time I had to pee. Really really bad. I asked him if he knew where the bathroom was. He said follow me... He rode his bike and we followed. We came up to this little shack. As he opened the door, he was gleaming with pride. "This is my home", he said with a joyful smile. It was literally a hole in the wall the size of my bathroom- and NOT my master bathroom. In it was his bed, his kitchen, his sink, which was also the toilet.


After using his toilet slash sink, he invited us in for some tea. He told us his amazing life story as a refugee, escaping from civil war in Africa. With his broken english we laughed and joked around. He wanted us so badly to stay and watch the soccer match at a local pub. But the last train left at 9 pm and the game would only start at that time. He offered us his bed and a couple beers. He said he would sleep outside on a bench. His generous giving opened my eyes. He was willing to offer everything, for who? For strangers- yet he treated us like family. 


So I wanted to create a challenge for myself and others in the name of generous giving. The aim is to create a paradigm shift in the way we relate to "stuff". Rather than "Who I am is my clothes", we shift to "Who I am is creativity and full-self expression. The result of this is my unique style and art".

The challenge for this project is to give up one of your FAVORITE items or outfits in your closet. Yes yes- I know. Tears will be shed when my favorite cocktail dress and set of heels are being peeled away from my tiny little claws. But think about it... when we donate our clothes we usually give away the leftovers that nobody wants. The crap. The unwanted. The rags. What we want to create is true GENEROUS giving. Make it a "Hand Me Up" instead of a "Hand Me Down". 

Target donors: any shoppaholics or fashion-loving peeps!

Result: Gain freedom from attachment to "stuff" and allow someone less fortunate to enjoy things they would not usually get the opportunity to enjoy!


How do you relate to stuff? What does it mean to you? Why are we so attached?


Stay tuned for more details...


Fashion. 
I love my creativity. 
I love my self-expression. 
I love my style. 
Fashion.